literature

Spherical

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Literature Text

Spherical
Also inspired by true events

A golf ball is a rather curious object. Like a pebble, it can be dropped into a pond, causing immeasurable damage to the world, often causing the person who dropped it to speak entirely in expletives. It would be perfectly spherical in shape, were it not for the  some five hundred craters pocked across it's surface like a planet in space who did a really poor job of dodging meteors. The reason for these pock marks is an aerodynamic feat, allowing golf balls to fly much further than a perfect sphere. And fly it did, this one lovely summer's day a few years ago.

We begin our story innocently enough with the introduction of three friends who had decided to spend that afternoon at the local miniature golf course, which was conveniently built, like all other family entertainment venues, next to a freeway. Now these rowdy young fellows played their round quickly, with some time to spare, and, as is the natural course of events when there is time to spare, began to imagine all possible ways of having fun while destroying as many things as possible. Unbeknownst to them, they have managed to get themselves involved in a series of rather strange coincidences that had started several years ago.

Three years ago and several hundred thousand miles away, a young girl in a small village in Africa was photographed for a news article on a rather painful topic. You see, this girl had the unfortunate situation of being in a country tormented by a bloodthirsty war over a particularly small, shiny stone. Or more specifically, several small, shiny stones. Yes indeed the blood diamond had reared its ugly head into this unfortunate region of Africa, and the young girl had just become the poster child for this grand disaster.

But it is now time for us to leave our poor little friend in the middle of Africa and fast forward to the present, where at the very moment our three golfing friends were teeing off, the doorbell rang at the house of one Mr. Stephen Huxley, just a few miles away from the golf course. Mr. Huxley answered the door in a smart suit and a navy blue derby hat (It should be noted that the navy hat has no relevance to the story, no intended symbolism, and anyone who says otherwise is just itching for a fight). At the door, or rather on the doormat, was a newsletter on, wouldn't you have guessed, the problems in Africa. As he was reading and preparing for his appointment (hence the smart suit), be became horribly distracted from the radio, where the hourly traffic report described an epic car chase down the 101 freeway. Huxley, too engrossed with reading to mind the mindless chatter in the background, proceeded to get in his car and drive off to his appointment, which coincidentally took him on the 101 freeway.

Meanwhile, our three golfing buddies had begun playing baseball using the golf clubs and what balls they hadn't launched into the pond. They played a fun game amongst themselves, trying to hit the ball as high as possible. One of them managed to hit the ball over the castle, just barely missing the windmill. Another made it over the fence of the course. But the third ball is the one we find the most interesting, for it managed to escape the golf course entirely and end up on the freeway right next door. Are you seeing where this is going yet?

Yes, it was at that very moment that a stolen vehicle came careening down the highway, pursued by six police vehicles, lights and sirens blaring. Coming from the opposite side of the freeway, Mr. Huxley's travel had slowed to a crawl as other drivers stopped to watch the chase. As the stolen vehicle charged within meters of Huxley, a bright orange object came speeding out of the side of the freeway and came into contact with the windshield of the aforementioned speeding car. Huxley looked on in amazement (by now traffic had stopped entirely so he didn't have to watch the road) as the stolen car spun out of control and into the embankment. He did not, however, notice that the ball had since returned to the air and flown out of sight (no doubt feeling very injured from the experience). The police arrested the driver, Mr. Huxley made it to his appointment, and life went on as usual.

The three friends that we met at the beginning of this tale had gone home, having run out of things to destroy at the miniature golf course. However it should be noted that with the arrest of the speeding driver, the police found an unusually large stash of diamonds in the car, stolen from Africa three years before. These gems were auctioned off to charity, where the money went to help victims of the war, the poor little African girl of course being one of them, thus completing one series of coincidences that happened to have covered several hundred thousand miles.

The next day (for those of you keeping score, that makes two days this story has occurred in, not counting the minor historical flashback), Mr. Huxley drove to his normal job, as a dispenser of wisdom, pre-sanitized by the government for your personal enjoyment, better known as a teacher. Our three golfing friends walk into class and take their seats, and the teacher began, “You know, the weirdest thing happened yesterday. I was on the freeway when that car chase occurred when out of nowhere a golf ball hit the car in pursuit and made it crash into a tree...” The three boys just stared at each other. A series of strange coincidences indeed.
The sequel of sorts to "Circular." This one, however, does not go entirely in a circle.
© 2006 - 2024 unknowninspiration
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